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By Sean Clark, on June 3rd, 2011 [JABBIC is back for the summer. Look for the next one in July. Find previous installments here. And you can suggest covers we should use, or volunteer to write a blurb, by emailing us here.]
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 Been a while, friends. In case you forgot, JABBIC is kind of like Balderdash with book covers. Based only on the cover at right, three of our contributors made up a one-paragraph premise for this week’s festive contestant, Gingerbread Cookie Murder, by Joanne Fluke–coming out in October 2011. Can you pick out the book’s real plot? (The answer will be posted in the comments later today.)
1. The idea for this cheery holiday whodunnit reportedly arose from a particularly salacious incident involving … well, we’re not at liberty to say, but you can be sure that he won’t be hearing the end of it! Gingerbread Cookie Murder, in classic Miss Marple style, features a spritely lady detective who stumbles into a kitchen caper at a Christmas party. Hijinks abound! Kidnapped carolers, battles over fiercely guarded family recipes, and an oven fire due to an untended Goose all provide for a veritable feast of holiday entertainment with a side of clever investigating. A final word of warning: the recipe for Bourbon Balls provided by the three leading ladies of mystery is quite tasty, but a tad heavy-handed.
2. Dylan Schafer is the only fifth grader at Beech Hill Elementary who still believes in Santa Claus. Around the holidays, Dylan is the subject of constant ridicule. But this year, he has a plan to stop the taunting once and for all: He’s going to catch Santa… by poisoning his cookies. Dylan’s devious plot and its consequences will have you laughing, crying, and shaking your head.
3. A woman is found dead in her kitchen, naked except for the apron she was strangled with. All the police have to go on is a single bite mark left behind by the killer on a Christmas cookie. Heading the case is rookie detective and young mother Christina Jessop. As the evidence eludes her, the holidays bear down fast. Christina must provide for the Yuletide delights (and needs) of her family, while across town a mourning family rests their hopes on her detective work. Full of mystery, suspense and heartwarming moments (and a few yummy recipes from food.com’s Levine and Meier), Fluke’s third novel is a holiday caper treat.
4. Fluke, Levine, and Meier each offer a yuletide whodunit treat in this entertaining follow-up to 2007′s Candy Cane Murder. In Fluke’s wry “Gingerbread Cookie Murder,” Hannah Swensen of the Cookie Jar in Lake Eden, Minn., wants her neighbor Ernie Kusak to simply lower the volume on his too loud Christmas outdoor display, but she soon discovers Ernie with his head bashed in. In Levine’s hilarious “The Dangers of Gingerbread Cookies,” Jaine Austen’s holiday stay at her parents’ home in the Tampa Vistas retirement community is enlivened by the murder of elderly lothario Dr. Preston McCay, whose neck gets broken during his star turn in an amateur play called The Gingerbread Cookie That Saved Christmas. Rounding out the volume is Meier’s less cheery but poignant “Gingerbread Cookies and Gunshots,” about Maine reporter Lucy Stone’s investigation of a four-year-old boy’s disappearance. Recipes enhance two of the selections.
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By Nico Vreeland, on June 2nd, 2011  Author: Chris Wooding
2009, Spectra
Filed under: Sci-Fi
Get a copy at Powell’s
| C4 Ratings...out of |
10 |
| Language..... |
6 |
| Entertainment..... |
9 |
| Depth..... |
4 |
| Originality.... |
2 |
Ever since the show Firefly was canceled in 2002, that particular brand of fun-loving space opera has been an underrepresented subgenre, both on-screen and in print. That’s a shame because it’s such a simple, satisfying formula: you have a collection of disgraced citizens or small-time brigands, brought together by their common ostracism from proper society, aboard a rattletrap (but stalwart) vessel with its own personality, and led by a charismatic, swashbuckling captain. Together they go on a series of zany, madcap adventures, and on the way they encounter a range of different planets and people, each bizarre but loveable.
Retribution Falls, the first installment in Wooding’s new Ketty Jay series, comes straight out of that fun-loving space opera mold, in fact it hews so closely to the Firefly model that it’d be faster to list the differences between them than the similarities.
With this novel, you’ll get exactly what you expect: dashing adventure, exuberant thrills, and a fun read. You won’t get anything else, like originality or complexity. …
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By Sean Clark, on June 1st, 2011 Hooray for Memorial Day, hooray for June, hooray for haiku.
hell of a Great Read
Nico almost gave all tens
check out this trailer
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Jon Krakauer’s work
exposes Greg Mortenson
PS- Byliner
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compelling stories
Finan has talent, craft lacks
watch for more from him
six years to cross pond?
veggie-sitting braindead wife
Mike hearts adjectives
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writing shows promise
magical flourishes were
too heavy-handed
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“criminally short”
Patton Oswalt is a troll:
funny one that writes
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the jury is in
all vampire novels suck
no exception here
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For Clemente fans
graphic novel’s a homerun
(Marcos bought a hat)
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swashbuckling steampunk
who wouldn’t love flying whales?
set-up for book three
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Nora’s first romance
confusing creepy uncle
otherwise, bland sex
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debut story set
Glaser experiments here
and finds great success
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well-written stories
a little too similar
lots of not talking
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long a Sean favorite
classic Redwall adventure
RIP, B. Jacques
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deWitt review 2
Nico was not disappoint
addiction Great Read
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By Nico Vreeland, on June 1st, 2011 [In this feature, we highlight a handful of the best book reviews appearing over the weekend in major newspapers. Follow it here.]
 The Horseman’s Word, by Roger Garfitt, reviewed by John Burnside (Guardian)
In a review of a good book, quoting is a trickier art than it appears. It’s easy to highlight a bad book’s badness in a 40-word stumble, but it’s suprisingly difficult to express in a single plucked sentence the pleasure of a great read. It speaks volumes for Roger Garfitt’s intriguing memoir that Burnside’s minimal quotes inspire and impress. The Horseman’s Word is a memoir of a poet’s madness written itself with poetry, and Burnside’s review is well worth the time. Horseman has no U.S. release date yet, but you can find it on Amazon UK.
Toward You, by Jim Krusoe, reviewed by Sam Munson (New York Times)
A surrealist novel, like a baseball game, is often more fun when cut down to a lean highlight reel, and that’s basically what Munson does in this review of Krusoe’s latest novel. Munson’s tone confesses his dislike of the novel, even as he tries to hide that dislike with backhanded compliments like saying that Krusoe is “among the foremost creators of surreal Americana.” I won’t actually read this book, but the review is a fun five minutes. [Get Toward You at Powell's.]
The Dark City, by Catherine Fisher, reviewed by Susan Carpenter (L.A. Times)
An interesting aspect of any great genre work is the necessary paradoxical balance of innovation and convention. Carpenter describes both aspects of this first installment of Fisher’s “Relic Master” YA fantasy series—for instance, the world is “unique,” but also, “like so many other books of fantasy,” vaguely medieval and apocalyptic. Carpenter doesn’t seem to be aware that she’s discussing that genre balance, and so it’s less interesting than it could be. Still, for fans of YA fantasy, the Relic Master series was a hit in Britain, and it’s getting its overdue first American release in the coming months. Worth checking out. [Get The Dark City at Powell's.]
Doc, by Mary Doria Russell, reviewed by Katherine A. Powers (B&N Review)
Doc is a novel about Doc Holliday and the Earp brothers. It’s been getting rave reviews like this one, in which Powers can barely keep from gushing (e.g., she calls the book “an inspired evocation of a mythic quintessence”). Sounds like a good next read for fans of The Sisters Brothers. [Get Doc at Powell's.]
In brief: David Grann’s review of Lost in Shangri-la is much better than the last one I read (no real surprise there) … this review of a debut novel is too name-droppy but the book sounds good … is it any surprise that the British are the most bored people in the world? … not exactly sure what this book will be like, but the review is a must for Nabokov fans … a similar piece (but much shorter) for Virginia Woolf fans … and finally, a nuanced takedown of a too-simple, overmarketed nonfiction book.
By Kathleen Dacey, on May 30th, 2011 [This is the final entry in our Deserted Isle Books series, in which our contributors discuss the one book they would choose if they were stranded alone on a deserted isle forever. Read other installments of the series here, get your own copies at Powell's, and explore other series like this on our Special Features page.]
I can’t honestly imagine being stranded on a beach. Woman verses the elements? Not this girl. I’ve never roughed it; I didn’t take Survival in high school and my Girl Scout troop vacationed on Cape Cod. All of my experience with camping has involved masses of friends. Running water. Coolers of beer. Bug spray. I’ve stayed up all night on the beach, but in the morning we drove to a diner for breakfast. Aside from Martha’s Vineyard I’ve never even been on an island.
Like Shannon on Lost, I have asthma and allergies. I burn easily and too much sun gives me migraines. I’m clumsy and would never be able to steady my stance long enough to catch a fish. I’ve never been able to shimmy up a tree so I’d have nowhere to hide from hungry animals. I’m not especially fast. I’d be easy prey—the carnivores would take me down the first night. Or I’d make it a week and be so beat up by the experience that I’d give in and float myself face-down out to sea.
I wouldn’t want my favorite book along for this miserable journey. And I don’t think I’ve read the “best” book out there. But I do have a story that soothes me, a style that comforts me, a buddy book. …
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By Nico Vreeland, on May 27th, 2011 [This new feature is a brief monthly summary of new books on my radar, roughly in order of my personal interest in them. Follow it here.]
 Oil On Water, by Helon Habila (out now)
A pair of journalists try to track down the kidnapped wife of an oil executive, and embark on a dangerous journey through the Nigerian river delta. They discover a country—not to mention scores of people—ruined by the no-holds-barred Nigerian oil industry. Civil wars, crimes against humanity, a political expose, and a suspenseful adventure “set in a haunting world of mangroves, floating villages, and jungle shrines” (PW)? Yes, please.
The Profession, by Steven Pressfield (out 6/14)
In 2032, dozens of private mercenary armies fight for anyone with money (especially oil companies). The most powerful group, a Blackwater-like global corporate army called Force Insertion, is led by a megalomaniacal ex-U.S. general with plans for vengeance that only his right-hand man can stop. Supposedly, Pressfield’s extensive research makes this thriller great.
Eleven, by Mark Watson (out now)
British comedian Watson’s third novel looks at a gaggle (roughly a dozen) of disparate characters tied together by cutesily self-monikered late-night radio DJ Xavier Ireland. When Ireland witnesses a “bullying incident,” the consequences unfold in a semi-postmodern narrative, but one that you won’t need a full semester and a PhD to unravel. This could be excellent or it could be terrible. Reviews say Watson’s not trying to be funny (ignore the flap copy); if all else fails, at least Steve Martin has the makings for a lawsuit. …
Continue reading »
By Nico Vreeland, on May 27th, 2011 [This funny, grueling addiction story is a C4 Great Read.]
 Author: Patrick deWitt
2009, Mariner
Filed under: Literary
Get a copy at Powell’s
| C4 Ratings...out of |
10 |
| Language..... |
9 |
| Entertainment..... |
9 |
| Depth..... |
8 |
After reading Patrick deWitt’s excellent new Western, The Sisters Brothers, I went straight out and found his only other book, Ablutions. It did not disappoint.
Ablutions follows a nameless Hollywood bartender, a degenerate drunk on a steep downward trajectory. He spends his nights drinking free Jameson and warring with regulars at the bar he works at and hates; he spends his days suffering atrocious hangovers and fighting with his wife. Generally, he mislives his life.
I don’t entirely know how deWitt sold this debut novel, because that thumbnail description doesn’t begin to do justice to this funny, lovely, tragic, gripping book. …
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By Sean Clark, on May 26th, 2011 Author: Brian Jaques
1994, Ace Books
Filed Under: Fantasy, Young Adult.
Get a copy at Powell’s.
| C4 Ratings...out of |
10 |
| Language..... |
7 |
| Entertainment..... |
10 |
| Depth..... |
6 |
The Redwall books were among my favorites when I was actually a young adult reading YA books. Salamandastron stands out in my memory because it was the first I ever read. I remember first seeing the cover with the badger holding the spear, and just lighting up. I was a pudgy little dork who really liked Watership Down and the Final Fantasy games, so this book screamed awesomeness to me. I wasn’t let down, and I devoured the rest of Jacques’s books with ever-increasing voracity.
I still have all my Redwall books. The covers are worn, the pages yellow and tattered. They’ve survived moves from apartment to apartment, been lent out and miraculously returned more than once. I’ve always said I would revisit them at some point but never did. When Brian Jacques died in February, I finally decided to return to them. My initial thought was to hit the three core books (Redwall, Mossflower, Mattimeo), but then I saw that cover again and knew it had to be Salamandastron. Just look at that badger –he’s not some goofy Looney Toon. He stands there in armor, holding his pike and helmet and seeming, well, somber. …
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By Eric Markowsky, on May 25th, 2011  Author: Jim Shepard
2011, Knopf
Filed Under: Short Stories, Historical, Horror, Literary.
Get a copy at Powell’s.
| C4 Ratings...out of |
10 |
| Language..... |
8 |
| Entertainment..... |
8 |
| Depth..... |
7 |
You Think That’s Bad offers 11 stories inspired by a diverse array of subjects, from flood control and avalanche research to World War II and the Japanese film industry. Each one is thoroughly researched, tightly written, and full of compelling, hopeless characters. As a collection, though, You Think That’s Bad strikes the same emotional chord a little too often to make the whole something greater than its best parts.
One story is about a Black World operative who can’t talk to his wife. One is about a Dutch hydraulics engineer who can’t talk to his wife. There’s a particle physicist who can’t talk to his wife; there’s a Japanese special effects designer who can’t talk to his wife; there’s a Polish mountaineer who does a better job talking to his wife, but not nearly good enough to save either of them from himself. It’s tragic watching these obsessed men ruin their lives one after the other, but some things start to feel repetitive. …
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By Mike Beeman, on May 24th, 2011
 Author: Rachel B. Glaser
2010, Publishing Genius Press
Filed Under: Short Stories, Literary.
Get a copy at Powell’s.
| C4 Ratings...out of |
10 |
| Language..... |
8 |
| Entertainment..... |
9 |
| Depth..... |
7 |
In Pee on Water, Rachel Glaser’s debut short story collection, you will find updated fairy tales, post-modern love stories, surreal dips into a mix of real and imagined history, and narratives sketched from the point of view of the book you are holding—and all of this in one ten page story, “The Magic Umbrella,” an endlessly inventive piece of writing in which Glaser uses a series of internal “About the Authors,” to allow each section build on the previous and take these fantastic turns.
“The Magic Umbrella” leads Glasers’ collection, and is an excellent introduction to her mercurial stories. Over the course of 143 pages the author covers a wide range of subjects: A lonely youth becomes deeply engrossed in, and then beholden to, an interactive video game about John Lennon’s life in “The Jon Lennin Xperience.” “The Kid” starts as a burn-out love story, but quickly becomes a surreal nightmare. My personal favorite, one of the most touching and, oddly enough considering the subject, conventional stories in terms of form is “The Monkey Handler,” a tale chronicling the misadventures of a group of astronauts and their amateur crew whose star-crossed love affairs lead to their abandonment in space.
The title story, “Pee on Water,” a droll history of the world, suggests that nothing has really changed but what is contained in the story’s title:
This is the nice time of early men and monkeys, before cigarette butts cozied fat into the grass. No plastics, no prayers. Wood isn’t sliced into slats, it’s still living it up in trees. The rain is surprising, usual. Men and monkeys leave their lives with their bodies. Early men paint, cry, stare into fire meditatively. Pee on grass. Pee on dirt. Wear furs, have babies, catch dogs. Fall in love with dogs. Pause at oceans and their rambling edges. Sticks complicate grass. Grass complicates sand. The ground and every thousand thing on top of it. Curves and lumps. Uneven clouds. But click the clock radio through am to pm, spin the equal sphere like a sonic hedgehog. The leaves live the leaves fall, the leaves live the leaves die.
This story, so far removed in psychic distance, is at an extreme pole of Glasers’ style: hyper self-conscious, dripping with irony, full of subtle and not-so-subtle pop-culture references. At times this combination can pull the reader from the story, but far more often Glaser manages to implicate the reader in her imaginative tales instead. A recent nod as one of the top twenty fiction titles of last year by The Believer‘s readers (alongside such venerable heavyweights as Martin Amis, Jennifer Egan, and some guy named Franzen) speaks to this success. The result is a collection that is inventive and original, touching as well as hilarious, and surprising in all the best ways.
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